Letting go of sentimental items is never easy. There's a reason why we leave these things until last when we are trying to sort through all our clutter. For some of us, it's so hard that it never gets done at all and we end up drowning in 'things' because we can't let go. After being confronted with this problem myself this week, I came up with a solution for letting go of sentimental items that works for me. Maybe, it will work for you too!
I was starting the first of a whole load of sewing projects I'd like to get done this summer - a bench cushion for the window seat in our walk-in wardrobes. It was all going so well, my vintage sewing machine was running like a dream. Then suddenly, 'BANG!' the bobbin stopped turning and picking up the thread. Just like that, the bobbin case is broken beyond repair and I have to accept that my 'Old Faithful' has finally sewn its last row of beautifully formed stitches!
In itself, that's not so bad, I can get another sewing machine. The problem lies in the fact that the machine has sentimental value and it's not so easy for me to just let it go.
The thought of getting rid of my old machine makes me so sad. The machine was given to me by an Auntie who (unbeknown to me at the time) was dying of cancer. She wanted to pass the machine on to someone who would love it as much as she did. Every time I used that old machine, I thought of my lovely Auntie.
My husband wanted to take the machine to the tip immediately but I couldn't let it go. I was having such a hard time with that decision. Then I thought about my decluttering email series 'Declutter Success'. (Read more about Declutter Success in this post). I realised that in that series, I don't talk about how to deal with the 'clutter' that has an emotional element attached. What about all the sentimental items we keep, not because we use them or even like them but because they once belonged to someone we love who is no longer with us. The memories and emotions attached to our 'things' can make it hard for us to part with them even when it's obvious we should.
After thinking long and hard, I realised there was no way I could justify keeping this broken sewing machine. I needed to come up with a solution for letting go, without losing the memories. As most of us will probably find ourselves in a situation like this at some point in life and as emotional clutter is the hardest of all to deal with, I thought I'd pass on my solution in case any of you are dealing with the crushing prospect of letting go of sentimental items yourself.
Letting go of sentimental items
Solution 1
Problem:
The sewing machine is broken and cannot be repaired. If I keep it, it will sit in our basement gathering dust and taking up storage space that could be used for items we really need.
Solution:
Keep a 'token' and let the rest go. Instead of keeping everything, I will keep the instruction book which has lots of handwritten notes from my Aunt to me of how to troubleshoot this or that. I will also keep the accessory box which contains a few handy sewing tools. I've taken some photographs and I'll let the machine go. This way, I still keep a 'token' and my memories.
Letting go of sentimental items
Solution 2
This would also work for things like 'collections' that you can't or don't want to keep.
Problem:
Your Granny left you her collection of china dolls. You loved your Granny and the dolls remind you of her but you can't remember the last time you opened the box they are stored in and actually held one in your hand.
Solution:
Choose your favourite to keep as a 'token' and let the rest go. Maybe you can donate the rest to a museum where they will be appreciated and put on display.
Don’t let guilt be the reason for clutter in your home. What we choose to let go of or keep is our decision and ours alone. Guilt is a burden, letting go is powerful and freeing. You may want to keep your things or let them go – whatever you choose, it’s okay.
Letting go of sentimental items
Solution 3
Problem:
You inherited a large collection of colourful vases from your mother. You have always secretly hated the vases. You're a minimalist so they don't fit in with your décor anyway and they are just collecting dust in your basement. You feel guilty for not wanting them and guilty for hiding them away.
Solution:
Take photographs of the vases and let them go. Just because your mother loved them doesn't mean you have to. There are many people who will give those vases a good home and proudly display them to the world. Isn't that much better than them collecting dust in your basement?
Don't let guilt be the reason for clutter in your home. What we choose to let go of or keep is our decision and ours alone. Guilt is a burden, letting go is powerful and freeing. You may want to keep your things or let them go – whatever you choose, it's okay.
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Helen Cronin says
Thank you so much for this post, Jayne - it has really spoken to me. I have had such a tussle in the past letting go of things, whether out of choice or necessity. Now I have the answer!
Jayne Westerholt says
I think dealing with emotional 'clutter' is something that is hard for everyone Helen, that's why we tend to leave it rather than deal with it. I'm so glad this helped you too!